How Hard Should You Push?
As a parent, you want what’s best for your child, to be healthy, confident, challenged, and maybe even a little inspired. You want them to thrive, not just academically, but physically and emotionally too. That’s where extracurriculars like dance come in.
Dance is more than just a beautiful art form. It’s exercise, discipline, creativity, teamwork, and confidence-building all wrapped into one. But what happens when your child doesn’t seem to want what you know is good for them? How hard should you push?
Let’s unpack the difference between healthy encouragement and overwhelming pressure and how to help your child discover joy through movement, without creating resistance to it.
The Real Issue: Kids Aren’t Getting Enough Movement
The CDC recommends that children and teens between the ages of 6 and 17 get 60 minutes of moderate-to-vigorous physical activity every day. That’s a full hour of moving their bodies with energy and intention.
The reality? Most kids aren’t meeting that quota, especially with the growing appeal of screen time, homework loads, and reduced access to safe outdoor play. Dance, on the other hand, is a joyful and structured way to meet those physical activity goals and build so much more in the process.
But what if your child resists? What if they cry before class, say they don’t want to go, or tell you they’d rather quit?
Encouragement vs. Pressure: What’s the Difference?
It’s important to recognize the subtle but crucial difference between encouraging a child in sports and pressuring them. Encouragement fosters growth and capability, offering support and a shared effort, as in “You’re capable. Let’s try this together. I’ll support you as you grow.” Conversely, pressure demands performance and carries the weight of expectation, conveyed by statements like “You have to do this. I expect you to perform. Don’t let me down.”
As adults, we know that sometimes it takes a nudge to get out of our comfort zones. Children are no different, but they need reassurance, not ultimatums. If you’re wondering whether to “push through the tears” or “wait it out,” the answer is: it depends on the reason behind the resistance.
Ask the Right Questions First
Before you decide to push, or back off, try to understand what your child is actually feeling. Questions to gently explore together include:
- “What part of dance class feels hard right now?”
- “Is there something that’s making you nervous?”
- “Did something happen with a friend or teacher?”
- “Would it help if I stayed to watch or talked to your teacher with you?”
You might uncover something simple, a bad day at school, an itchy leotard, a fear of not knowing the routine. Or it could be a deeper fear of not being “good enough.” Either way, validating their feelings is the first step in helping them move forward.
Keep the Long-Term Benefits in Mind
Even when they resist in the short term, children need structured activities that support their well-being. Dance offers:
- Cardiovascular and muscular fitness
- Improved coordination and posture
- Social-emotional development
- Confidence through achievement
- A creative outlet for self-expression
- Sometimes kids don’t know how great they’ll feel after the class, so it’s up to us as parents to help them get there.
Tips for Balancing Motivation and Compassion
Here are a few practical tips to help you encourage without overwhelming:
Normalize the Transition
It’s common for kids to struggle with new routines or environments. Let them know that it’s okay to feel unsure at first. Share stories about times you tried something new and eventually came to love it.
Set Gentle Expectations
Instead of saying “You have to go because I paid for it,” try “Let’s give it a few more classes and see how you feel. New things take time.” Framing it as a trial period allows your child to feel more in control.
Celebrate Effort Over Outcome
Praise their courage for showing up, even if they’re nervous. Celebrate small wins: “You remembered that step today!” or “I saw you smiling at the end of class; that was awesome.”
Don’t Compare to Other Kids
Every child is different. Some take to dance immediately, others need time. Avoid comparing your child’s interest, skills, or temperament to classmates or siblings.
Stay Connected With the Studio
Communicate with their instructors. At Nan’s School of Dance, we’re here to support your family’s journey, not just teach choreography. If you’re unsure what’s normal or need help navigating your child’s feelings, reach out. We can often provide helpful insight from what we see in class.
But What If They Still Want to Quit?
Sometimes, despite your best efforts, a child truly doesn’t connect with an activity, and that’s okay. But before pulling the plug, ask:
Did they give it enough time to adjust (at least a full session)?
Are they resisting all activities or just this one?
Could a different class, teacher, or time slot make a difference?
Are they open to trying another activity to stay active?
If your child needs a break from dance, find another outlet for physical activity. Whether it’s swimming, martial arts, sports, or even active play outdoors, the key is to keep them moving.
Helping Your Child Dance Into Growth
Here’s the truth: you can encourage your child without pushing them away. By tuning into their needs, guiding them with empathy, and reminding them of their own strength, you’ll help them grow—not just as dancers, but as resilient, self-aware humans.
At Nan’s School of Dance, we believe in meeting each child where they are—and walking beside them on the way to where they’re going. Dance is a gift, and with the right support, your child will come to see it that way too.
And who knows? One day, they might thank you for not giving up when they needed the nudge most.
Reach Your Goals With Nan’s Dance!
At Nan’s School of Dance, our goal is to provide top-quality instruction at a competitive price. We encourage our students to reach technical proficiency in their favorite dance form and build self-discipline, poise, and self-esteem. We offer instruction in Ballet, Tap, Jazz, Contemporary, Hip Hop, Acro, and Pre-Dance, at all levels.
We love having new members in our dance classes and will help get your child acclimated to our dance school to make them feel right at home. When your child attends Nan’s School of Dance, they will become a part of our dance family and share in our love for dance!
Don’t forget to register!
From ballet to hip hop, we offer dance classes for ALL ages and skill levels in a variety of styles. We place students in classes that will challenge them while offering a fun atmosphere for learning and growth. We also offer Mommy & Me classes, (18 months – 2.5 years). Register online or give us a call at 919-803-6044 to hold your spot!
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Want to Read More About Dance?
Take a look at some of our other articles about dance.